I Dare You!
by Shira
Summary: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I needed to get some sillies out of my system!!! HEHEEEE! -Shira ^_^
1. WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AN: Hiyas! Here's another funny Slayers ficcie for you! ^_^ Enjoy! 

Phibby: Ohayo, minna! Welcome once again! I am your host this evening, Hellmaster Phibrizzo! 

Audience: *applause* 

Phibby: This is Shira's all-new game show, I Dare You! 

Audience: YAY! *applause* 

Phibby: On this show, we will be inviting Slayers characters to do crazy things! Who should we dare to go first? Your choices are: A) Lina Inverse B) Gourry Gabriev C) Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun or D) Zelgadis Greywords! Please enter your choice on the keypad strapped to your chair! 

Audience: *mumbles and rummages for keypads* 

(silence) 

Phibby: Ya done yet? 

Audience: One second... 

(silence) 

Phibby: Done yet? 

Audience: ... *buttons beep* ... DONE! 

Phibby: *smile* Okay! Let's look to the screen for the results! 

Screen: 

A- ******* 

B- *** 

C- ***** 

D- ***************** 

Phibby: The results have come in! Zelgadis Greywords, I dare you to come on down!!!!!!!!!! 

Zelgadis: *walks onto the stage* *sits down* 

Phibby: Welcome to our new game show, Zelgadis! 

Zelgadis: *grumble* 

Phibby: Are you ready to play? 

Zelgadis: *grumble* 

Phibby: Are you _going_ to play? 

Zelgadis: *grumble* 

Phibby: *sweatdrop* While we try to convince our contestant that he wants to play, let's have a commercial! Gaav! 

Gaav: *grumble* Hai, hai... *pushes button* 


	2. DRAGON POPS!!!!!!!!!!

(commercial) 

Voice: You can burn your finger! 

Other voice: Ooh! Dragon Pop! 

Voice: A burning flame of flavor! 

Other voice: Ooh! Dragon Pop! 

Voice: It's a lolly pop without a stick, you burn your tongue off when you lick! 

Other voice: Ooh! Dragon Pop! 

Voice: In spicy and really hot flavors, too! 

Everyone: OOH! DRAGON POP! 


	3. I Dare Zelly!

(back to show) 

Sylphiel: Those Dragon Pops look dangerous... 

Phibby: I think Gaav invented them... 

Gaav: Yeah, I did! Vally-ku--- I mean, **blush** Valgaav likes them! 

Phibby: Blech! Anyway, Zelgadis, are you ready to play! 

Zelgadis: *blush* Yes, I'm ready to do anything! 

Sylphiel: (whisper) What did they do to get him to be so willing? And why's he blushing? 

Gaav: (whisper) They had Amelia come in and ask him to do it for her... He said yes right after he started blushing... 

Sylphiel: (whisper) Oh! 

Phibby: Hai! Zelgadis-san, the dares we have were sent to us by loyal fans. We will randomly pick one out of the Dare Drum, and you will have to do that dare! Got it? 

Zelgadis: Sure! I'll do it! 

Phibby: *walks over to the Dare Drum* *knocks on the Dare Drum* Hello! Hey! Hand me a letter, will ya? 

(The Dare Drum opens up, and Deep Sea Dolphin is in there) 

Dolphin: Fishy! 

Phibby: No fishy! Get me a letter! 

Dolphin: *holds out letter* Flat fishy! 

Phibby: *sigh* *takes letter* Thanks, Dolphin... Go back to sleep... *closes the Dare Drum* 

Dolphin: *snore* fishy... *snore* fishy... *snore* fishy... 

Phibby: *shakes head* *sits down* Hai! Zelgadis-san, here is your dare... This dare is from a girl named Gigi... Gigi writes: 

_Dear Zelgadis-san,_

_I dare you to marry Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun on live television!_

_-Gigi ^_^_

Zelgadis: *blink* 

Phibby: *stares at Zelgadis* 

Zelgadis: *blush* 

Phibby: *stare* 

Sylphiel: (whisper) Will he do it? 

Audience: *on the edge of their seats* 

Zelgadis: Uh... *blush* 

Phibby: You have to! You were dared to! 

Zelgadis: *blush* 

Phibby: *grin* Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, I dare you to come on down!! 

Amelia: *jumps onto the stage perkily* Ohayo! 

Phibby: Amelia, Zelgadis has been dared to marry you! 

Amelia: *trips* What?? 

Phibby: Zelgadis has been dared to marry you! 

Amelia: **blush** 

Sylphiel: *comes onto the stage* I'll do the service! 

Zelgadis: *blush* 

Amelia: *blush* Zelgadis-san...? 

Sylphiel: Zelgadis-san... Amelia-san... Please stand in front of me 

Zelgadis: *stands in front of Sylphiel* 

Amelia: *stands in front of Sylphiel* 

Sylphiel: Hold hands! 

Amelia: **blush** 

Zelgadis: **blush** *takes Amelia's hands* 

Sylphiel: We are gathered here today to witness the union of these two-- 

Phibby: Skip to the end! We're on the air here! 

Sylphiel: Oh! Gomen... Um... Zelgadis-san, do you take Amelia as your wife for the rest of your life? 

Zelgadis: ***blush*** I... Guess I do... 

Sylphiel: And Amelia, do you take Zelgadis as your husband for the rest of your life? 

Amelia: *****blush***** *smile* Yes! 

Sylphiel: I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss! *smile* 

Zelgadis: *****blush***** k-k-k-kiss? 

Sylphiel: mm-hmm! *nod* 

Zelgadis: B-b-b-b-b-but, I-I-I-I-... I.... 

Amelia: *smile* *jumps up and kisses Zelgadis* 

Zelgadis: *red face* 

Amelia: *smile* *blush* *smile* *blush* *smile* *blush* 

Zelgadis: *faint* 

Amelia: *blink* Zelgadis-san? *blink* 

Phibby: What happened??? 

Sylphiel: He... Fainted... 

Amelia: *grabs Zelgadis's feet and drags him away* Bye, everyone! *smile* 

Phibby: *sigh* Hai, hai.... Strange guy... Okay, we need another commercial, Gaav! 

Gaav: *nod* 


	4. The Puppet Show!

(commercial) 

Puppet of Xellos: Hello! 

Puppet of Milgazia: Hello! 

Puppet of Xellos: Know what? 

Puppet of Milgazia: What? 

Puppet of Xellos: There's going to be a Puppet Show at Rezo's mansion!!! 

Puppet of Milgazia: Which one? 

Puppet of Xellos: Huh? 

Puppet of Milgazia: Which mansion? Rezo has a lot... 

Puppet of Xellos: The one in Sairaag! 

Puppet of Milgazia: Oh... 

Puppet of Xellos: So! Come to Rezo's Puppet Show! It will tell the story of the abominable Lina Inverse and her destruction!! *chuckle* 

Puppet of Milgazia: Why should I go? 

Puppet of Xellos: Because... It'll be full of negative feelings? 

Puppet of Milgazia: And...? 

Puppet of Xellos: And... Everyone's going to be there? 

Puppet of Milgazia: And...? 

Puppet of Xellos: And... Free donuts and coffee? 

Puppet of Milgazia: ...so...? 

Puppet of L-sama: You'd better go! I'm definitely going! WOOHOO! FREE DONUTS!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!! 


	5. Introducing Tams!

(back to show) 

Phibby: L-sama! What have we told you about drinking!?!?! 

L-sama: *grumble* *takes long swig of alcohol* 

Phibby: *shakes head* Hai... Anyway, now we will call on a member from the studio audience to be our Dare victim... Who should it be? 

Audience: Ooh! Me! Pick me! No, me! MEEE! Please pick me! OVER HERE! 

Phibby: *sigh* Sylphiel... Pick someone... 

Sylphiel: Oh dear... Um... Who should I pick? 

Phibby: I don't know! Close your eyes, spin around three times, and point! 

Sylphiel: Okay! *closes eyes* *spins around* One... Two... Three... *stops spinning* Okay! *points* You! *opens her eyes* 

Girl: *gasp* Me?? ME??? YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps up and down in a lil happy dance of joy* 

Phibby: *nod nod* Crazy audience girl, I dare you to COME ON DOWN!!! 

*cheesy music plays while the girl wallks up to the stage* 

Girl: *sits down in a squishy chair* Ooh... Cool chair! *bounce* *giggle* *bounce* 

Phibby: So... Right... What's your name, girl? 

Girl: *bounce* My *bounce* name's *bounce* Tamra *bounce* but *bounce* you *bounce* can *bounce* call *bounce* me *bounce* Tams! *bounce* 

Phibby: *stare* 

Tams: *bounce* *smile* *bounce* 

Phibby: ... 

Tams: *bounce* *smile* *bounce* 

Phibby: o.O 

Tams: *bounce* *smile* *stops bouncing* This bouncing is tiring! 

Phibby: *sigh* Good... She stopped! 

Tams: o.O? 

Phibby: Okay! Tams! We'll ask an audience member to dare you to do something, and you have to do it, okay? 

Tams: *nod* okay! *nod* 

Phibby: Right... Gaav, pick someone! 

Gaav: *grumble* Sure... *looks up at audience* Hmm... *points* Her! 

Phibby: Okay! Girl, what do you say? 

Girl: Tams! I dare you to bounce in the chair for the rest of the show! 

Tams: *smile* 

Phibby: Aiyaiyai! Why me? 

Tams: Yay! *bounce* *smile* *bounce* *smile* *bounce* 

Phibby: Hey, girl! What's your name?? 

Girl: *big grin* You don't wanna know! 

Phibby: Why not?? 

Girl: You'd be scared! 

Phibby: I'm not afraid of anything! Who are you?? 

Tams: *bounce* 

Girl: Okaaay... *runs down stage* It's ME!!!!! 

Phibby: AAAAAAAAAAAH! *points* It's YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Girl: *laugh* 

Phibby: *screaming* AAH! *runs off stage* 

Girl: hee hee! Bye, Phibby-chaaaan!!!! *sits down in chair* 

Tams: *bounce* Who *bounce* are *bounce* you? *bounce* 

Girl: *smile* I'm Shira!!!!!! ^_^ 

Tams: *bounce* Hey! *bounce* I *bounce* know *bounce* you *bounce* from *bounce* WUWS *bounce* Don't *bounce* I? *bounce* 

Shira: *smile* Yup! Okay, Gaavy-chan! Commercial!!!!!!!! 

Gaav: *grumbles* 

Tams: *bounce* *smile* *bounce* *smile* 


	6. Slayers Princess Bride

(commercial) 

Official announcer voice: It's a story of love... 

Other voice: Hate... 

Another voice: War... 

Yet Another Voice: And peace... 

Official announcer voice: It's a story of pirates... 

Other voice: Giants... 

Another voice: Spaniards... 

Yet Another voice: And kings... 

Official announcer voice: It will thrill you... 

Other voice: Chill you... 

Another voice: Scare you... 

Yet Another voice: And please you... 

Official announcer voice: It will make you cry... 

Other Voice: Laugh... 

Another Voice: Sing... 

Yet Another Voice: Scream... 

Official announcer voice: It is... 

Other Voice: A tale of... 

Another Voice: Epic proportions... 

Yet Another voice: It is... 

All Voices: The Princess Bride 

Official Announcer voice: Starring... 

Other Voice: Lina Inverse... 

Another Voice: Gourry Gabriev... 

Yet Another Voice: Zelgadis Greywords... 

Official announcer voice: Zolf... 

Other voice: Prince Philionel el de Seyruun... 

Another voice: Vrumagun... 

Yet Another Voice: And Zangulus... 

Official announcer voice: Casting... 

Other Voice: Script... 

Another Voice: And directing... 

Yet Another Voice: By Shira ^_^ 

All Voices: Coming soon to fanfiction.net... 


	7. Shira Takes Over!

(back to show) 

Tams: *bounce* Wow *bounce* you *bounce* make *bounce* movies *bounce* too? *bounce* 

Shira: *smile* Yeah... Anyways! Back to I Dare You! We need a new contestant! Who should it be, audience? No keypads this time... 

Audience: Um... Lina! Lina! Lina! 

Shira: All right! Lina Inverse, I Dare You to COME ON DOWN! 

*cheesy music* 

Lina: *walks on stage* 

Shira: Lina, you have been unanimously selected by our studio audience to be our next contestant on... 

Audience: I DARE YOU!!!!!!! WHOOOOOO! *applause* 

Lina: Okaayy... What do I do? 

Shira: *smile* I get a letter from the Dare Drum, and read the dare... Then you have to do that dare ^_^ 

Lina: *shrug* Sounds easy enough! 

Tams: *bounce* Hi *bounce* Lina! *bounce* 

Lina: *stare* 

Tams: *bounce* 

Lina: *stare* 

Tams: *bounce* 

Lina: *stare* 

Tams: *bounce* 

Lina: Why are you still bouncing!??!?!?! 

Tams: *bounce* *shrug* *bounce* I *bounce* was *bounce* dared *bounce* to! *bounce* 

Lina: I see... 

Shira: *goes over to Dare Drum* *knocks on Dare Drum* Hello! Hey, I need a letter! 

(The Dare Drum opens up, revealing Dolphin!) 

Dolphin: *snore* ...fishy... *snore* ...ishy... *snore* ...shy... *snore* ...hy... *snore* ...y... 

Shira: Wake up, Dolphin!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dolphin: *snore* ...fishy... 

Shira: DOLPHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Dolphin: *snore* ...fishy... 

Shira: o.O 

Gaav: Oy, Dolph! I got a fishy! 

Dolphin: *wakes up* Fishy??? 

Shira: *smile* Hi, Dolphin! We need a letter! 

Dolphin: Flat fishy! 

Shira: Sure... Flat fishy! 

Dolphin: *holds out letter* Flat fishy!!!! *giggle* 

Shira: *takes letter* 

Dolphin: *won't let go* My flat fishy! 

Shira: Let go, Dolphin! 

Dolphin: MY FLAT FISHY!!!!!!!!!!! 

Shira: DOLPHIN!!!!!!!!!! 

Dolphin: MY FLAT FISHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Shira: GAAV! Cut to a commercial!!!!! 

Gaav: *nod* *grumble* 


	8. All 4 Justice Convention (A4JC)

(commercial) 

Amelia: Ohayo! Welcome! This Saturday is my All 4 Justice convention! All Amelia-worshopers and peace-loving allies of justice, please attend! We're counting on a large group, so we have plenty of food! 

L-sama: Any donuts? 

Amelia: *starry-eyed* L-sama! You're coming? 

L-sama: If there are donuts 

Amelia: Oh, thank the stars! The mostest evilest mazoku is going to repent her ways and become an ally of justice! 

L-sama: I never said that... 

Amelia: Oh, the wonders! If we can convert an evil lady like L-sama, we can convert anyone! Oh, the joy of justice! 

L-sama: Listen to me! 

Amelia: Don't worry, L-sama! I will fill your heart with the burning flame of justice! You will soon dismiss your mazoku life, and live as a true hero of justice! 

L-sama: Listen, girl, I'm only going if you have donuts! 

Amelia: I can't wait! The hammer of justice will smite the evil corrupting your soul, and will replace it with goodness and peace! Don't worry, L-sama! You will come out of the convention a changed woman! 

L-sama: Forget it... I'm not going... 

Amelia: You will have such a wonderful time! There will be a petting zoo with lots of fluffy bunnies, and there will be a karaoke station where you can sing your favorite life-praising song, and there will be a class for making a cool entrance, just like a true warrior of justice should, and... *rambles on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on* 

L-sama: Hmph! No donuts, no L-sama! No, where'ed I put that brandy...? 


	9. I Dare Lina!

(back to show) 

Shira: L-sama! You shouldn't be drinking! 

L-sama: Well sooooorrrry! *takes big swig of brandy* 

Shira: *sigh* Now, Dolphin, let go! 

Dolphin: MY FLAT FISHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Gaav: *sigh* Dolph, the flat fishy is going to play with Shira... Let it go 

Dolphin: Have fun, flat fishy! *lets go* 

Shira: *falls backwards* 

Tams: *bounce* 

Lina: *stare* 

Tams: *bounce* 

Shira: *gets up* 

Tams: *bounce* 

Lina: Do I do something yet? 

Shira: One second... *opens letter* Okay, here is your dare... From a person named Merro the Cute Lil Kitty. Merro writes: 

_Dear Lina,_

_I dare you to wear a skimpy dress and dance and sing in front of the entire crowd!_

_-Merro the Cute Lil Kitty_

Lina: *stare* 

Tams: *smile* *bounce* *smile* *bounce* 

Shira: *big grin* You've gotta do it, Lina!!!! ^_^ 

Lina: *blush* FINE! Do I get a reward?? 

Shira: Hey, Sylphiel! Get out the Lina Reserves! 

Lina: Lina Reserves??? 

Sylphiel: *runs away for a second, then comes back with a big bag of gold* It's a whole safe full of money for these game shows when you wants a reward for doing something! 

Lina: $_$ A whole safe full of gold?? 

Sylphiel: *nod* 

Lina: Where is it??? Where??? I gotta know, now where??? 

Shira: Uh... That information is classified... 

Lina: *glare* 

Shira: *glare* 

Lina: *glare* 

Shira: *glare* 

Lina: FINE! 

Shira: Okay! If you dress up in a skimpy dress and dance and sing in front of everyone like Merro asked, then you get a huge sack of $GOLD$ 

Lina: $_$ GOLD!! 

Shira: About SIX THOUSAND!!! 

Lina: S-s-s-s-s-six Th-th-th-thousand?!?!? $_$ 

Shira: *nod* 

Lina: Where's the dress?? 

Tams: *bounce* I *bounce* can't *bounce* believe *bounce* she's *bounce* doing *bounce* it! *bounce* 

Shira: *grin* We'll cut to a commercial while Lina gets ready to dance ^_^ 

Gaav: Right, right... 

Sylphiel: Is she really going to do it, though?? 

Gaav: Depends on if she remembers the gold... 


	10. Beastmaster's Pet Shop!

(commercial) 

Zelas: Hello, dear veiwers! Welcome to the Beastmaster's Pet Shop! Unlike the Seyruun Pet Shop, who has cute little bunnies and kittens, I have ferocious beats! 

Off screen: GROOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWL!!!!!!!!! 

Zelas: *smile* You just heard Pookie, my favorite pet wolf. We also have vampire bats, dragon eggs, poisonous snakes, bears, evil monkeys, and orcs. 

Off screen: GROOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWL!!!!!! 

Zelas: *smile* None of these creature are tame, and insurance does not cover it if you lose a limb or end up in the hospital... No suing allowed for injuries caused by one of my ferocious beats... *smile* Enjoy! 


	11. Lina's Dare!

(back to show) 

Tams: *bounce* Where'd *bounce* Lina *bounce* go? *bounce* 

Shira: She went to get changed 

Tams: *bounce* I'm *bounce* getting *bounce* tired *bounce* of *bounce* this *bounce* bouncing *bounce* 

Phibby's voice: You're still bouncing!?!?! 

Shira: Phibby-chan! She was dared to! She can't back out on a dare! 

Phibby's voice: WAH! You're still here??? 

Shira: Yeaaaahh... I'm the host! *smile* 

Phibby's voice: NO YOU'RE NOT! I AM!!!! 

Tams: *bounce* Shira *bounce* took *bounce* over *bounce* so *bounce* now *bounce* she's *bounce* the *bounce* host! *bounce* 

Phibby's voice: *sniff* I want my job back... 

Shira: AW! Poor Phibby-chan! 

Audience: AWWW! Poor Phibbyyyy!!!!! 

*Lina walks onto the stage wearing a Sailor Moon getup... EVERYTHING! And blushing redder than a tomato* 

Audience: WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! YAYY!!!!!!! *applause* *clap clap* *applause* *whistle* YAHOOO! *clap clap* *applause* 

Lina: ***blush*** 

Shira: *smile* Okay, Lina! I'll turn on the stereo... Remember-- SIX THOUSAND $GOLD$ 

Lina: $_$ 

Shira: *turns on stereo* 

Tams: *bounces to the beat* 

Lina: ***blush*** six thousand, six thousand, six thousand... 

Shira: Go ahead! 

Lina: *deep breath* 

Tams: *bounce* Hey! *bounce* I *bounce* recognize *bounce* this *bounce* song! *bounce* 

Lina: Oops! I did it again! 

Audience: *STARE* 

Lina: I played with your heart! *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Shira: *STARE* 

Lina: Got lost in the game! *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Tams: *bounce* *STARE* *bounce* 

Lina: Oh, Baby! *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Gourry: *walks onto stage* Lin-- o.O? 

Lina: It might seem like a crush *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Gourry: *STARE* 

Lina: But it doesn't mean *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Phibby: *walks onto stage* 

Lina: That I'm serious! *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Phibby: *STARE* 

Lina: 'Cause to lose all my senses *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Gaav: *STARE* 

Lina: That is just so typically me! *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Sylphiel: *STARE* 

Lina: Oh, baby! Oh! *five thousand, five thousand, five thousand* 

Everyone: *STARE* 

Lina: ARG!!!!! Enough staring! I danced, I sang, GIMME THE GOLD!!!!!!! 

Everyone: *stare* 

Lina: *blush* 

Everyone: *blink* 

Lina: **blush** 

Everyone: *stare* 

Lina: ***blush*** 

Everyone: *bursts out laughing* 

Lina: GRR!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID THAT FOR A LOUSY SIX THOUSAND GOLD PIECES!!!!!!!!!!! 

Gourry: Uh-oh! She's gonna do it! *runs away* 

Tams: *bounce* she's *laugh* *bounce* gonna *laugh* *bounce* do *laugh* *bounce* what? *laugh* *bounce* 

Shira: *laugh* Dunno! *laugh* 

Gaav: *chuckle* *shrug* *chuckle* 

Audience: *laugh* DUNNO! *laugh* 

Lina: *really really really mad* _Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows..._

Gaav: o.O hehe... *slowly walks away* 

Lina: _In thy great name, I pledge myself to darkness..._

Tams: *bounce* o.O? *bounce* 

Dolphin: *wakes up* bye-bye flat fishies! *runs away* 

Lina: _Let all the fools who stand before me be destroyed..._

Audience: Uh-oh! *runs away* 

Lina: _By the power you and I possess!_

Shira: o.O? 

Tams: o.O? 

Lina: _DRAGON SLAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!_

*BIIIIIIIIIIG BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!* 

AN: HIYAS! Okay, as of now I am taking suggestions for more dares for further showings of I Dare You! (And yes, the Slayers Princess Bride _is_ actually going to be written... eventually) ^_^ 


End file.
